Using "The Cloud" for SQL Storage

SQL Server storage can sometimes be the bottleneck between installing Server 2000 and firing up that first Query Analyzer session. I know, you're hot to trot, but please, simma' down and learn about your storage options.

Sure, we covered how cost-effective and system-enhancing it is to install all files on the same hard-drive, so let's talk about how awesome it is when you can use normal every-day household products to store your data.  This is all thanks to "the cloud". The "cloud" is a virtual way of using different chemical compositions to store and sort your data.

Cloud Option 1: Dow Brand Scrubbing Bubbles.

The Scrubbing Bubbles have a special custom-scrubbing action, so that you may "set it and forget it", my friends! I know what you're thinking: 'But Pinal Steve, bubbles are NOT clouds'. And yes I'm aware of this, but thankfully thanks to thankful modern-science, science-fictionists have been able to carve chunks off of REAL clouds (stratus and other weather clouds) from the sky, cloning their DNA thus making scrubbing bubbles direct-descendants of actual clouds (which science has proven are 56% bubble-content). Packing-bubbles/aka bubble-wrap may also be use for older systems to write data to.

This bear knows what the f##k is up.

Cloud Option 2: Charmin 'Cloud Ultra Soft'

The storage systems available from the Charmin company have really expanded as of late. Previous versions were limited to "Scented" and "Unscented", but for 2011 they've released Ultra and Double-Roll cloud configurations (Double-Roll cloud storage traditionally only stores 45% more than single-roll, in Nationwide tests).  One of the nice options of the Charmin storage systems is that it's typically more portable than a can of scrubbing bubbles storage and also HIGHLY configurable.

For example, the leading national-brand paper storage system may offer RAID-6 storage (that's 12 rolls of data by two racks), but with Charmin ULTRA Double-Roll storage, you can simply add as much as you want, as their 12-Roll system has the capacity of 24 rolls of the competitor's array. Also, I see coupons all the time when I'm in the store getting my medication that keeps the alien voices from penetrating my tin-foil-hat.

Tune in next time !