SSPI Context Errors & Resolution

Recently, a client has been faced with several "SSPI" errors, with messages such as "Cannot Generate SSPI-Context" and various variants of that variable issue. Invariably.

What is SSPI?

SSPI is the "SQL Server Patience Index".  It measures the patience of the SQL Server to handle stupid requests by stupid developers who write inherently STUPID CODE. Sometimes, the server machine simply CAN NOT GENERATE IT. This means your server is out of patience ! The index runs from 5 to -100. A value of -100 will also generate this error.

Resolution

NOTE:

[If the options below do NOT solve your issue, please, step away from all computers. In fact, you should probably avoid using electricity as you are unfit to do so.]

Step one: Talk to your SQL Server. Perhaps give it a gift (an iTunes giftcard or perhaps a new sweater). Sit down with your server and find out "why are you out of patience?". This will be the best path to resolution.

Step two: If your SQL Server will not stop and talk with you, put it in a "time out". Sit the server in a corner, and let it know it can come back out when it's ready to be a big-boy and talk.

If the above Microsoft resolutions do NOT work, replace the server. That will teach it.